"Mr. Blue Sky" - Electric Light Orchestra

LJ turned two yesterday. Two years of the most beautiful, brown-haired, blue-eyed, rambunctious, gentle-spirited, sweet-natured firecracker I've ever known. I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned from being his mother over these last 24 months. In keeping with tradition, here's my letter to our beautiful boy for his second birthday.

LJ,

Bubba. Jeffery. Jeff. Hey, Jeff. JEFF-ER-Y. My sunshine, my precious sunshine.

You are two. Two! These two years with you have been incredible. You're at an age where you're kind of like clay. I can see what's in you but I'm not positive what shape it will take. You are so incredible inside, my son, and you have such a strong personality. The parts of you that are so obviously clear right now are so pure and so beautiful. Weird analogy came to mind - it's kind of like, at this age, you are the roux of the stew that will become your life. You are the base of it. This is the most concentrated the base part of you will ever be. As you grow, things will be added, and this version of you will both be built upon and dilute. They will always be there, always be a part of you and every bite you take out of this life. Kind of wild to think about it that way. It's been truly an honor to have seen you grow into who you are today, LJ, and we are only two years into this journey. It's so early and that makes my heart so full to know - I cannot fathom how much the beauty that is knowing you will grow over a lifetime.

You have the most infectious laugh. If you're laughing, everyone is laughing. You are really cheeky sometimes - you pretend to steal noses and eat them, which is a choice, and you laugh every time. You crinkle your nose when you're feeling extra silly too. If you get a laugh, you not only repeat yourself in the moment to get another - you also add what worked to your every growing reference of what I have quietly referred to as Winston Bishop level pranks. If you've never seen the show New Girl: please remedy that. I'm sure you will have by the time you read this as I have now vowed to ensure it. In case you need a refresher, Winston Bishop is a silly, clumsy in life, easy to root for roommate in a loft with 4 very close friends of his. He sometimes tries to pull pranks. The problem with this is he either goes too big or way too small, like a raccoon in an air duct vs a feather in a shoe. You kind of have a similar vibe right now. God willing I'll never know a raccoon in an air duct but also I know the chances of that with you and your brother are definitely not zero. You're always testing what works though - right now you just struggle to gauge the landing. I think it's a telltale sign of a good sense of humor, which I will admit you get from both your father and your mother. Not to toot my own horn here but we are very funny people who come from very funny people. It's in your blood. But to be truly funny, you have to be willing to test what works and what doesn't. Humor is often risk and well-landed risk can really pay off, as can well timed humor. I love watching your journey to get there. It cracks me up.

You're talking now. You're actually quite the communicative little dude. Even when you weren't talking, you made yourself clear. You are forthright with your opinion at all times. Sometimes you're agreeable, but other times you're the opposite. Either way, you're unlikely to sway easily once you're locked in. Today you said something to me and I couldn't figure out what you were talking about, so I started guessing. I never guessed right. You had the patience for two wrong guesses before you got frustrated. I felt bad because you clearly knew what you were saying, but it wasn't translating for me yet. You hit me with a firm "NO! [repeats unintelligible word]!" You repeatedly did that with a steady increase of irritation a few times before you moved on.

You do tend to move on pretty quickly. Emotions seem to wash over you like a fast running river. They can appear quickly and disappear the same. Sometimes it's harder for you to shake things but you're generally a well-tempered individual. You've definitely shown your ass a bit more lately so I suspect you might be one of those two year olds who proves the Terrible Twos people always talk about. And even greater bonus - you are going through this emotionally volatile blossoming while your brother is proving the Threenanger theory true. It's a perfect storm.

Speaking of RB, I wonder if you might wonder what your relationship was like at this age should you read this when you're older. You two are thick as thieves. You spend every second together aside from sleeping. You're so in tune sometimes you act more like twins. You are also basically the same size so you share a lot of clothes. There's a closeness to you two that's powerful to witness. You have your own world that no one else knows - you can understand each other better than we can understand you, you can calm each other down, you can rile each other up. You are the best friends I have ever seen in my time here on earth, honest to God. It's not all sunshine and roses, unless the sunshine is likely to burn you and the roses have thorns, in that case maybe it is. I think it's the fact that it's truly unconditional love you share. You make each other the maddest anyone can make you, but you always find a way through it. I pray you both always know that to be true.

Back to you, my son. You love so many things. You have many interests. You love tractors and all things on wheels. Monster trucks are a huge plus. You love your bikes. You really want to figure out the battery powered car for the backyard. I have no doubt you'll get there soon. You accomplish something when you set your mind to it. Some may call it headstrong, but we will help you hone that raw ability into being strong-minded. You are willful, as one might say - and I know you will find yourself when you're older as someone who has taken that will and done great things with it, through hard work and not pure force. It's important to balance those.

To be a good leader, you have to be both willing and capable of standing on the front lines. This requires learning and you are a learner. You want to practice words, repeating yourself until you're happy with how it sounded. You want to dress yourself and are surprisingly successful. You want to brush your own teeth. You want to ride a bike without being pushed. You don't quite know how to do these things yet, so you ask for help. Asking for help is a vulnerable experience, saying you don't know what you don't know. Despite your aforementioned headstrong tendencies, you are very willing to be taught. You wanted to ride your bike the other day, but you don't know how to peddle. Dad explained it to you and you did it, right then and there. I wish I'd gotten a picture of his face. He was so tickled. You really want to dress yourself. You can when I walk you through it. You seek independence through learning rather than for pride. I so hope you never lose that way of thinking. It's a hard path that life will give you opportunities to stray from, but, gosh, if you walk it, you will be a lighthouse in this world.

Speaking of how smart you are - I think you might be incredibly intelligent. Both of you boys are. LJ, you are a sponge. You are working on your ABCs and you have your numbers memorized, you're just trying to get them in order. You want to read, holding the book and telling me an acceptably accurate rendition of a memorized story. You watch everything that's happening around you. CiCi actually mentioned this to me the other day. You see, your dad was observant as a young child. In all actuality, he is still a very observant individual. He would watch and learn. You do the same thing. You're just always taking in everything you can.

You're not shy. You're a social butterfly, I think. You have your shy moments, but I think yours are more developmental than a personality trait at this point. This past weekend, a group of so many people who love you got together to celebrate you - RB, Dad, myself, Momo, Grandpa, Uncle Jake, CiCi, Pawpaw, and Aunt Bradie. Not a small group by any means. We went to the aquarium at Moody Gardens this weekend for your birthday. We had a great time, and afterwards we went to The Rainforest Cafe for lunch. CiCi and Pawpaw got you a chocolate lava cake with ice cream and a candle, and the wait staff came up and sang to you. You were looking around, just in love with the attention - in love with being so seen by so many. You were so brave at the aquarium, completely unconcerned with the number of people or the crazy things we saw, including a very disturbing sea spider that continues to live rent free in my mind, but not yours. You rarely struggle to understand your place in any given situation, which is incredible because I am an adult and I often struggle to understand just where the heck I'm supposed to be. You were born with two feet firmly planted in who you are, and that has only become more clear with each day that's passed.

LJ, sunshine, you glow so bright. You have become such a little person right under our noses that sometimes I find myself in shock as to how far you've come in such a short amount of time. You have an ability to navigate (and create) chaos without fear. You have such a strong mind and an even stronger heart.

This year, we have learned a lot together - it's not just you growing here, but I pray I kind of have you convinced I know what I'm doing right now. I'm betting by the time you read this, you are very aware I indeed did not have a single clue what I was doing. I've taught you and you've taught me - not sure who did more, to be honest.

In tradition and reflection, here are my lessons I both learned and wish to pass on from this most recent year of your life:

1. You are very strong in so many ways. Physically and emotionally. Be careful not to bulldoze those around you. Strength is powerful, but harnessing that strength to lift others up with you is a whole 'nother level.

2. You want to keep up with what's ahead of you, not what's beside you. You push yourself to your literal limit and you leave it all on the table. I admire that, and as someone with the ability to do the same, I pray you protect yourself and your spirit. Push yourself while preserving your energy. Grow intentionally, not recklessly. You cannot pour from an empty cup, my son. Make sure you're paying just as much attention to where you are as to where you want to be.

3. You're finding what brings you joy. Pull that thread, always, for the rest of your life. You deserve your own interests, hobbies, and inner world. It sometimes might feel like you have to share every part of your heart and mind, like you don't get to really keep anything for LJ. That'll likely be because of how close in age you and your brother are. Sometimes you're seen as a unit instead of two individuals. Life is going imply that - and honestly, at times, I might too. Always remember that you, Jeffery, are such a precious gift all on your own. You have blessed all of us just by being you.

There is not a single thing in this world that you could ever do to make us love you less. I love you more today than yesterday, and yet not as much as I will tomorrow.

I love you

Together or apart

Forever and always

Mama